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Honest Opinion: Breastfeeding

Photo Credit: www.pixabay.com

While I was pregnant I had this rose colored view of breastfeeding. My plan was to do it for six months and I ended up doing it for a week. I pumped for three weeks after and just gave him the milk in a bottle. I hated it. Noah was not really keen on having to work for his milk, he just wanted it to come flowing out for him and that not how it worked for me. Once my colostrum dried up it took a day or two for my milk to come in and I had to supplement while waiting so he would get enough to eat. As much as I hated breastfeeding, it made me feel so guilty that I like using the supplemental formula so much. I felt like such a bad mom because I would rather just give my kid formula than suffer though what I was always told would be best for him. 
Let me stop here are say that a lot of people feel this way, breastfeeding can be a very emotional thing, especially when you can't do it or it does not work out like you have imagined it would for the past nine months. The most important thing baby can get from you is colostrum which is what they get the first week or so from you if you choose to breastfeed. 
Honestly, the formulas these days are extremely advanced, and if you can't breastfeed or simply just do not want to, that does not make you a bad mom. It took me a while to learn and accept this lesson. Breastfeeding is not for everyone! 
Now that I have made it clear that breastfeeding was not my thing, let me tell you why. Other than the fact that my son was extremely impatient, I was also impatient. I always thought breastfeeding was this natural thing that both Mom and Baby knew just instinctually knew how to do... yeah, it is not by the way. Breastfeeding is something you both have to work at and I was just to anxious to calm down and figure out how to make it work. Noah would also get very upset and cranky when he was hungry and couldn't get the milk, which of course you can't blame him for. The issue arose where he would get so beside himself because he milk was taking to long to come down that he literally would get to ticked off to bother eating and he would just scream. Another thing about breastfeeding is the latching issues. The first time I did skin to skin with Noah he latched on immediately and I thought everything was going to be a piece of cake... it was not. The IV I had in my hand got to sore so they had to move it to my arm and when that happened it messed up the way I had to hold Noah to feed him and ever since then our latch was gone. The result from this latching issue was very painful feedings, and badly blistered nipples. Lanolin cream really helped with the blisters. When all of these issues started piling up I stopped being able to enjoy feeding and taking care of my son, it became almost like a chore that I hated doing because it was so uncomfortable. The night I chose to stop trying to breastfeed and go to formula I cried so much because I thought I was letting my son down. Let me be the first to tell you that you are not letting your newborn down if you cannot breastfeed, they literally do not care where their food comes from as long as it comes. 
I do believe that breastfeeding is very wonderful and a natural thing but it just was not the thing for me. I do wish people had been more honest about how much work it was so I would not have gotten such a rose colored view of it. If you want to try breastfeeding, go for it, it may be the best thing you have ever done. If you do not want to try it or you try and it does not work for you, do not feel bad I have found out that it does not work to easily for very many people. You are not alone. Breastfeeding does not make you the world's best mom just like bottle feeding does not make you the world's worst mom. How you choose to feed your baby is a very personal choice and in the end you have to do what is best for you and your baby. 


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